Meredith Vieceli

Let’s be real. Getting our kids to eat well can feel like a constant uphill battle that repeats itself at least 3x per day. It can leave us feeling frustrated, worried and drained. As a certified health coach and mom of two little boys, six and four, I know your struggle. I want to share some strategies that work in our family. I hope they’ll help you too.

1) Reject “kid food.”
U.S. retailers sold 35.06 billion dollars worth of children’s food and beverages in 2015. That number jumped to 41.09 billion U.S. dollars in 2018. Children are an especially important target group to food marketers since they can influence buying decisions while grocery shopping via the “whine factor.” Food and beverages marketed to children are typically highly processed and loaded with sugar, salt, inflammatory fats, artificial food dyes, and artificial flavors.

If these foods aren’t something that you or I would eat, why would we feed it to our kids? If we don’t want them eating it, don’t bring it in the house.

There’s no reason that children’s food needs to be a separate category. Children can and will eat more than chicken nuggets, hot dogs and pizza but only if we present it to them regularly and make it the family norm.

Making one family dinner each night is an excellent way to expand kid’s palates and makes it easier on the cook (no giving into demands for PB&J or cereal because they don’t like what’s for dinner). You can introduce new vegetables, whole grains like brown rice or farro, high-quality proteins, spices, and fresh herbs. This summer when our basil plants were in full bloom, the boys would fight over who got to snip the basil leaves that were going on top of the tomatoes and fresh mozzarella.

When you’re eating out, skip the kid’s menu. It’s where you’ll find the worst quality foods. Get into the habit of ordering an entree to share or a couple of small plates. You’ll be exposing them to new flavors and textures and getting them out of the nutrient-deficient “kid food rut.”

2) Be as stubborn as they are
When they fold their arms, push away their plate and refuse to eat, push that plate right back. When we give in to their pickiness too quickly, we encourage it. Kids need to be introduced a food up to 30x before they like it. Remember how you hated Brussels sprouts as a kid but now you love them? We need to give our kids the same opportunity to come around with their food preferences.

Anyone who’s lived with a four-year-old knows that they can be fickle. Finn is no exception. ” I like oranges.” “I don’t like oranges.” “I like cheese.” “I don’t like cheese.” This morning I was met with “I don’t like oatmeal,” to which I responded, “Oh, well that’s what we’re having today so eat up. It’s yummy, and it’s good for you. Would you like to add your raisins?” He stared me down for a moment, hoping that I’d offer to make something else. I stared right back. “Okaaay mama! he grumbled.” He quickly forgot that he doesn’t like oatmeal as he got busy sprinkling on the raisins.

Roll with their daily changing tastes but don’t pay them too much attention. Continue to present them with nutritious foods like it’s your job because it is. Don’t make the mistake of letting them hear you say “She’s such a picky eater, she only eats XYZ.” Acknowledge their opinion but don’t make a big deal of it. This too shall pass.

It’s essential to create a family food culture that “we try.” We may not love everything, but we try it. Can be just a single bite, or a single leaf of baby bok choy as was the case during last night’s dinner. Traveling, exploring new restaurants or even visiting an Asian grocery store and looking at the different vegetables, fruits and seafood is a good way to introduce new tastes, smells, flavors. Expand their palate. Cultivate an open mindset at a young age. Kids will push boundaries as much as they can. Help them understand that the “norm” in your household is to be open-minded and try.

3) Let them get their hands dirty
Encourage your kids to be involved in the process any way they can. Growing a vegetable garden or even having a few plants in a container garden is a beautiful way to teach children where food comes from. Last week Wyatt took out paper and crayons and sketched out what he wants to plant in the garden this summer: carrots, potatoes, watermelon, and sunflowers were at the top of his list. Little hands can help plant, water, weed and pick. They can also wash, chop, stir and cook.

It can also be as simple as letting them choose their favorite vegetables and fruits from the grocery store. Their choices may surprise you. Last week Wyatt picked out radishes. I went with it, thinking he wouldn’t eat them but I would. It turns out the kid likes radishes.

Sure, it takes more time to garden, shop, and cook with kiddos but it’s worth it. Put in the time and energy now so that you’re cementing healthy habits. This will make it so much easier when they’re pre-teens and teens and they have more freedom to choose what to eat and drink. You can set them up with a solid foundation which will help them to make healthier choices as they get older.

4) Let them get hungry.
Snacking encourages picky eating. When kids fill their bellies with goldfish crackers, granola bars, and fruit snacks (sugar, salt, and starch) in between meals, they’re going to pick at their meals. When we overdo it with snacks (because we’re worried that they didn’t have enough to eat at their last meal), they never have a chance to get hungry. We’re creating a vicious cycle.

We need to build up an appetite before meal-time. We can do this by keeping meals and snacks on a regular schedule. Our boys get home at 2:45 pm and have an after-school snack of fruit, cheese, nuts, or yogurt. We eat dinner at 5:30 so when the “I’m HUNNNNGRY!” complaints start rolling in at 4:4pm as I’m trying to cook dinner, raw veggies come to the rescue. I offer them bowls of cut-up carrots, peppers, or cucumbers. Usually, they’ll munch them until dinner’s ready, but sometimes Finn will refuse and ask for crackers. That’s the moment that I hear myself becoming my mom and say “If you’re not hungry enough to eat carrots, you’re not actually hungry.”

5) It’s up to you
You are the role model. They’re always watching. This is a huge responsibility but also a great opportunity. You set the tone for what’s in your fridge, what meals look like, and what your family eats. Want your kids to eat more vegetables and eat less sugar? Then you need to eat more vegetables and eat less sugar.

Don’t get stressed out and expect perfection. Celebrate small wins. If your previously non-vegetable eater is now eating carrots, that’s a win! Keep building on that. Never give up on the project of raising ‘unpicky‘ children. Teaching them to eat well is one of the greatest gifts that you can give them.

Last night I was at a Parent Info meeting at the boys’ school. Pizza was served, but since I planned ahead and ate dinner at home, I didn’t have any and wasn’t tempted. I got home at around 8pm, mindlessly opened the fridge and reached for Wyatt’s half-eaten, chocolate cupcake that he had saved from Finn’s birthday celebration the night before.

I wolfed it down in a dark kitchen while catching up on texts. Immediately after, I felt guilty for 1) eating Wyatt’s cupcake (“bad mom!”) and 2) not following my own guidelines around sugar (bad health coach!). I wasn’t hungry, and it didn’t even taste that good so why did I eat it? Because I was distracted and sugar is addictive as hell. 

I recently took an informal poll asking “What is your greatest struggle when trying to eat well?” Loud and clear, you answered, “sugar.”

For so many of us, sugar is what keeps us stuck. It’s the biggest nutrition obstacle between where we are and where we want to be.

But the one thing that continues to get in our way is our unhealthy relationship with sugar. We promise ourselves that we’re going to get it under control. But something keeps drawing us back. If we could just get ahold of this, it would solve so many of our struggles around food and weight. 

Sugar shock

The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) reports that the average American consumes between 150 to 170 pounds of refined sugars in a year! That number becomes even more shocking when we compare it to the average intake of sugar in the early-1800s, which was only 4-6 pounds per person per year.

“If you can get someone to stop their consumption of sugar, you can save them from premature death and suffering.” (via CrossFit)

Because sugar consumption is such a huge problem for so many of us, we always begin each new session of my health coaching groups with a “10 Days – No Added Sugar Challenge.”

It’s never easy in the first few days but when the added sugars get stripped away from our diets some fantastic things happen:  energy rises, skin clears up, sleep deepens, exercise performance gets better, pants get looser, mood improves, and our taste buds actually begin to change.

Pretty impressive results for adjusting just one thing in your daily diet. On the last day of the No Added Sugar Challenge, when you eat a strawberry, just as it is, it will taste like the sweetest, most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted. 

Stop blaming fruit

Speaking of strawberries, let’s talk about fruit. There is a lot of misinformation about fruit. Some diet “experts” and nutrition gurus will tell you that fruit is bad. They’ll say it’s too high in sugar and it’s the reason why you can’t lose weight.

Quite frankly, I think this is bad advice. You’ve seen the hyped-up headlines (usually attached to a link to purchase their fat-burning supplement) warning “The one food you NEVER want to eat if you want to lose weight.”

And it’s a banana. Please. Bananas are a great source of potassium, pre-biotic fiber and are actually a low-glycemic index foods. Bananas are not the enemy.

Instead of telling someone to stop eating fruit, how about encouraging them to reduce or remove the refined, processed and hidden sugars from their diets. Get the added sugars outs. That way we have room for whole, fresh or frozen fruit that is loaded with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, fiber and have a protective effect on our bodies.

Did you know what eating a handful of berries after a meal actually lower insulin secretion and helps to balance blood sugar? Sounds like the perfect dessert to me. 

Understand your cravings

Sugar cravings are real. Especially for chocolate. Especially when we’re stressed and tired.  And for women, at certain times of the month. There are reasons for this so stick with me.

I’m going to share my 4 Step Fool-Proof System to Calm Crazy Sugar Cravings. But first, we really need to understand cravings. 

What’s the deal with cravings? 

Cravings are vital messages that our body sends out to try to get our attention.  It’s our body trying to tell us that it needs something. They shouldn’t be ignored. Many people mistakenly think of cravings as a sign of weakness or a by-product of failed will power. Not true. 

Cravings are our body’s attempt to fix underlying imbalances. We’ve been conditioned to reach for food to bring back balance. Too often, we grab convenient, sweet, salty, fatty, highly-processed food that’s high in calories and devoid of nutrients, which only makes the imbalances worse. 

When we workout and sweat, we lose a significant amount of electrolytes, especially magnesium. This is when sugar cravings can hit hardest. Make a point to add in magnesium-rich foods: dark leafy green veggies like spinach and Swiss chard, nuts and seeds, fish, avocado and black beans. 

Ladies, we tend to crave chocolate in the days before we get our period, yes? Here’s why…dark chocolate is rich in magnesium and also a serotonin booster.

Serotonin is a chemical neurotransmitter also known as the ‘feel good chemical’ mainly found in our brain.  Right before we get our period serotonin levels are at their lowest, so reaching for chocolate is our body’s intuitive way of trying to make ourselves feel better. So smart. But before you rip open a bag of M&Ms, read on…

Be picky

My rule of thumb for chocolate is this, be picky.  Go for the delicious, dark stuff – 70% or higher cacao is a great choice. Sit down, break off a square and eat it slowly, letting the chocolate melt in your mouth.

Doing this decreases our cortisol (stress hormone) levels, an excellent thing! Skip the cheap, crappy chocolate that’s full of sugar, artificial flavors, and other fillers. The higher the cacao, the better. Just don’t go too high. I tried a 90% cacao chocolate bar once, and it was terrible, basically inedible. Stick with 70-80%. 

Here’s a little tip. I like to carry the individual packets of Four Sigmatic Mushroom Hot Cacao with me. https://us.foursigmatic.com/products/fsf-xoco-blue 

I poured a packet into my coffee this morning and instantly got a subtle taste of chocolate, none of the sugar and a nice dose of antioxidants and Reishi mushrooms (to support stress and deep sleep, more on this in a future post). Much better than a mocha or hot chocolate which will have 20+ grams of sugar (6+ teaspoons). 

When you’re watching Netflix and get a sudden and intense craving for a pint of ice cream, what is your body trying to tell you? The answer may not be ice cream. When you look and listen carefully, your body may be trying to tell you something else.

Shh…Listen to your cravings

We live in an over-stimulated, over-scheduled, crazy yet wonderful world. When you have a family, full-time job, workouts, kids sports, and music lessons, it’s no wonder that we’re always busy and end up grabbing what’s convenient.

Do we really need the doughnut that’s been sitting all day in the break room? Do we really need that over-priced, overly sweet vanilla latte at 3pm? Do we really need to unwind with a glass of wine every night when we get home from work? Do we really need the late night Oreo Blizzard from the drive-thru on the way home from your son’s baseball game?  

What are our sugar cravings trying to tell us? Rather than just indulging every time you want cookies, pause for a second and listen to your body. You may be shocked to find out what it’s trying to tell you.

My guess is that what you think you WANT (cupcake) isn’t at all what you NEED (a nap, a foot massage, a hug, some fresh air and sunshine, a date night, space to breathe, a clean house, help with the kids, a belly laugh).

Four questions

1) Do you have any artificial sugars in your diet?  Do you drink diet coke? Is there Splenda or Sucralose in your coffee creamer? Do you chew gum with aspartame?

If you do, this is feeding your sugar addiction. When you choose the diet or ‘lite’ version to save calories and avoid sugar, in the end, it backfires. 

2) Are you eating enough real food?  If you’re using MyFitnessPal to track and stay within a calorie range that’s too low, you’re going to crave sugar. 1200 -1400 is a target that I see a lot of women shooting for, which is too little, especially if you’re active and workout.

Always wanting sugar is a sign that your body needs more energy from nutrient-dense whole food sources but is seeking it out from sugar since it’s a quick energy source. 

3) What are you eating for breakfast? If the answer is: coffee, a latte, a bagel, an energy bar, cereal, oatmeal with brown sugar, cereal or fruit yogurt, this is a big part of your problem.

Eating a whole food breakfast that has the right amount of high-quality protein, healthy fats and fiber is key to setting yourself up for a good day of healthy eating. Change your breakfast, change your life! 

4) Are you tired? Stressed out? Sad? Angry? Lonely? Emotional eating is a huge issue for so many of us. I don’t know anyone who overeats carrots and hummus when they’re feeling emotionally broken.

Instead, we turn to comfort foods: chocolate, ice cream, cupcakes (sometimes half-eaten), candy and cookies. It becomes the ‘go-to’ to numb out feelings and self-soothe. 

Experiment time

Let’s try a mini-experiment. For the next three days, I want you to take inventory of your sugar cravings.  

When is it hardest for you? 

What’s the one food that you crave the most that’s really hard for you to stop eating? This is your ‘Red Light Food’ – do not buy it or keep it in the house. If it’s there, you’ll eventually eat it. 

For me, it’s chocolate covered malted milk balls Can’t be trusted with them, so I don’t bring them into my home. 

And when the strongest cravings hit, DO THIS:  Take three, long, deep breaths to get still. Then dig deep into the root cause of your craving and try to figure out what your body’s telling you.

What is it you really need? 

When we become more aware of our patterns, it’s the first step toward understanding cravings and reducing sugar. That, my friends, is sugar freedom.

Circling back to last night’s cupcake raid. Luckily, Wyatt forgot about it today and didn’t ask where it was. (I would have felt terrible!) I think if I had taken a couple deep breaths and paused, I probably would have passed on it. I would have come home and made myself a cup of tea instead. That would have hit the spot.

Oh well, lesson learned. I’m not going to beat myself up over it or let it turn into a slippery slope where I think I blew it so I might as well have more sugar. Nope. Not today, self-sabotage!

I’m going to give myself grace and hope that my sharing will be helpful to someone else. As I sit in my kitchen typing this, I’m sipping wild sweet orange tea, it’s exactly what I needed.